Posted in New Stuff

What Next? Cat Hair!

“You know what you need? A cat – that will fix all your problems,” my long time friend says to me in the most serious tone possible.

I, of course, find it ridiculous and look at him dazed, “Please tell me this is a joke!”

“Nope. I’ll tell you all about it. This friend of mine got a cat during such trying times. His name was Bounce; so anyway, he got this cat when he was dealing with a lot in life and the next thing you know he’s a millionaire selling his home-made love potion to half the countries in the world,” he says with an assertive voice.

Although I could have easily dismissed this cock and bull story, I choose to reason with him, “So, it’s not the cat but the love potion that got him to be a millionaire, won’t you say?”

He makes a face at me and replies, “No, it’s, in fact, the cat. That love potion was a hit because he used cat hair in it. Before the cat, his love potion was just dumb, dull potion.”

I give up, fling my hands up in the air, and say, “This is ridiculous! People are buying love potion made out of cat hair? You’re trying to tell me that they are okay with the ingredients written on that bottle or vial or whatever it is that your friend is selling it in?”

Swift comes the response, “Like he’d put the ingredients on the bottle label. Please, no.” Because that would be more ridiculous and absurd than believing that cat hair can make potions hit and cat owners can become millionaires!

Suddenly, I ask myself: What kind of a world am I living in? What kind of people are these? How come all the unusual things happen to me? Maybe I am special, maybe…and he had to interrupt me when I was just trying to get some dose of self esteem with all the introspection!

“Dude! I’m telling you, it’s a hit everywhere now!” he continues.

“Is it? So if it is then how come I never got to see this product in our markets?” I probe.

As sure as he was right from the start of the story, he goes on in that same tone,”Countries like ours always lose out on good, weird and ground-breaking stuff, you know – the real stuff is really outside. Anyway, he only sells them in first and third world countries, not here. Markets are thriving out there than here.”

As I mull over the thought, he continues with his monologue and when I get back from my mulling, he still goes on and I pretend to listen to him as if I always had been, “…so you know, unless we have the government leader going to these countries signing pacts and what not, we will not get that love potion thingy here any time soon. We are developing but we haven’t developed nor are we under-developed. So our way forward is by aping the developed and I have full faith in our govt leader to do that…”

He goes on and on and on…

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oranges and lemon sold for a penny, all the school girls are so many, the grass is so green, and the rose is so red remember me, when you are ........

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